Almost FOUR Years Post-Op: Now A College Grad & Future PharmD

I have no idea why I feel inclined to post again on this blog, but here I am.  It might be helpful for people to see how my face has changed since my last post a couple of years ago, because I believe it has.  I graduated from college with my Bachelor's degree last week and will be starting pharmacy school in August. CRAZY. It's easy to forget about the drama of the jaw surgery this far down the road, but every time I decide to look back on my old videos and posts, the emotions all come flooding back.  Four years ago, I was prepping for this life-changing surgery and about to start college with my jaws wired shut?!  I still can't wrap my mind around it now.  And in what seemed like the blink of an eye, I now have my degree and am prepping for another life-changing transition...this time into professional school.

So just as a reminder, here is how I looked before surgery (I'm on the right, sister Camdyn on the left):

And a few more cringeworthy old ones:

And here I am now!  Four years, jaw surgery, and the discovery of brow products can work wonders in a person's life:

         

Also here's an awkward picture of me from graduation. I'm saying, "Thank you," in response to his "Congratulations," so that's why I wasn't perfectly prepared for the photo. Oh well!  I'll get it right next time when I am at last Dr. Peyton... :)

Honestly the only thing on my mind at this point was, "DO. NOT. TRIP. ON. STAGE."

And another (courtesy of Camdyn):

Big shout-out to this incredible lady and all she has done for me over the past twenty-two years, especially concerning my braces and surgery.  Words in general are an understatement for the love I harbor for my amazing mother.

Looking back now, I regret deciding not to blog all throughout my four undergraduate years, because it seems like it would be so enjoyable to read through those posts now.  Here's to hoping I can get back to regular posting now that a new chapter is opening in my life.  Right now the main concern is figuring out where exactly I'm going to be living in less than a month and a half.  Apartment hunting is a NIGHTMARE...can I get an amen?!

Thank you again for reading, and I will always enjoy answering any questions you may have about jaw surgery, preparation, recovery, or heck even the pharmacy school application process!

Take care!

Peyton

8 Months Post-Op - Removal of Braces?! + Hospital Vid

So it's been a very long time and I'll just start off by saying...yes...I am still in my braces. And yes I feel as though my teeth are basically perfect underneath them but I'M NOT THE EXPERT. Yet. Sigh.

Fantastic news is at my last ortho appointment, I was told they could come off not at the next appointment but the one after that, which means early June hopefully. Happy happy times. I have pledged not to make another vlog until that time comes BUT! I did remember this little gem. It's the last pre-surgery video footage of me ever and it was taken on my mom's phone in the pre-op room about an hour before they wheeled me off. My head is even wrapped for surgery already. It's very brief and relatively frightening seeing as I still have that underbite and am wearing zero makeup along with that glamorous surgical gown but I wanted to share it anyway because it's kind of special to me.

If I seem overtly calm, it's because I miraculously was as far as I can remember. There is also this photo of my profile taken the day after surgery I believe and as you can see, I was hardly swollen at all for it being less than 24 hours post-op. Keep in mind, I'd been up the night before vomiting blood through wired-shut teeth and also hadn't taken a shower or received any sustenance aside from the IV fluids, so I wasn't exactly in a presentable state.

My face is red because of the constant wearing of the ice packs, but see...no swollen lips and my cheeks aren't bulging all that much. Based on results of people I had researched beforehand, I was expecting WAY WORSE than this. This photo was also my first opportunity to see the newly-adjusted profile which is what makes it very special indeed.
I'll post this again just so the before surgery/after recovery comparison is also here:

I'm overall still sooooooo thankful for the entire journey and finally being able to enjoy the fruits of a perfect bite. Now if I could just get these braces off so the bite would be somewhat more visually appealing...I mean I've had them since the week before my senior year of high school and here I am less than a month away from completing my first year in college.


Can't go without saying a huge congratulations to my Louisville Cardinal men's basketball team for making it to the NCAA Final Four. I can honestly say I've never been so proud of a group of individuals. And though we fell short in the game yesterday, I'd venture to say we exemplified the most tenacity and endurance of any team in the country this season after the neverending string of injuries and setbacks. Proud era to be a Cardinal, that's for sure.
And to any family members reading, I do not desire your pity or sympathy because I know you're only trying to reach out because your precious NBA-primed team - who has been expected to advance to the championship all along and therefore does not impress me in the slightest - actually made it through and you have nothing to mourn yet. The fact that we tied the game in the second half should be enough to warrant your chagrin given that everyone and their second cousin twice removed in the sports world picked your team to stomp us, no questions asked. And no, I still will not root for them tomorrow. Go Kansas.


Bitterness aside, this semester and a half since I last updated the blog has been crazy and mostly in a positive way. With the exception of one or two, every professor I've had so far has been placed in my "lifelong heroes" category and I could not be more certain that I made the perfect choice in university.


Last time I said I was going to post my top 10 "current" favorite songs on every following post, and that I shall.


1. "The Flood" - Take That → blame Liam Payne's twitcams
2. "If You're Not the One" - Daniel Bedingfield → I know it's kind of old, but it started playing when I was on hold with a Kroger pharmacy the other day at work so my love for it has been rekindled. hahahaha
3. "Wild Ones" - Flo Rida → because Harry Styles.
4. "Climax" - Usher
5. "Be Here" - Parachute
6. "Under Control" - Parachute
7. "The Remedy" - Jason Mraz → because of the fan fic I'm writing...don't judge
8. "Autumn Leaves" - Ed Sheeran (seeing him in concert April 4th)
9. "Ready to Go" - Panic! At The Disco → I listened to this a lot in the weeks leading up to surgery
10. "Fields of Gold" - Sting → blame my mother


Thanks for reading and please don't have nightmares about my pre-op video. haha
xo Peyton


PS - I survived the One Direction VIP ticket apocalypse and came out victorious. Come at me, June 26th.

52 Days Post-Op! Life is Grand.

Well the reason I haven't posted in 10 days is I simply haven't had much of anything new to report as far as jaw progress. Honestly I don't see that there is much more progress to be made at all aside from having the braces removed eventually. Everything is completely ordinary for me now except for wearing the elastics, but the new configuration even allows me to talk with those in. So overall, I'm completely normal again. To the family members and friends who have supported me through this: you have no idea how much I appreciate you. It's been easy to differentiate between those who care and those who have other more important concerns/priorities throughout this whole process.

So from here on, I guess this blog will start to transform into more of just a blog about my life as opposed to a surgery blog. I'll still post profile shots and pictures of my progress from time to time; plus I'll update after visits with my surgeon. No worries.

College...ahh college. I started classes exactly one month ago today, making this the fifth complete week.  As if I haven't already emphasized it enough, I have to say I'm still just overwhelmed with satisfaction and contentment in this environment. I wasn't all that apprehensive going into this new chapter in life, but any little fears and qualms I may have had are completely gone now.  As much as I enjoyed high school, I could not possibly bear to return after experiencing the freedom and flexibility of college life.  I especially appreciate how most of the work here is NOT busy work, but instead work that requires reading and attentive studying. High school classes (not all of them, obviously, but many) always seemed to require so many petty little efforts that ultimately didn't add up to much in the long run, looking back.  It so often felt like I was working just to receive a certain grade instead of working to benefit and actually gain something from the material. That has all changed though, and I couldn't be happier.

I am starting to have math withdrawals though. After having AP Calc EVERY DAY for an hour and a half throughout senior year, it's been tough quitting cold turkey. I miss my derivatives and integrals! That was one class where I could very clearly witness my own progress and always knew I was advancing for the purpose of learning the material, not just to make As.

Now if you follow me on Twitter, you know that last Saturday was a monumental occasion for our university's football team. We had our rival game against the University of Kentucky, and it ended up being an extremely on-edge game--constant tension; never a stagnant moment.  I, for one, take the rivalry very seriously...sometimes too seriously, I know. I'm workin' on it. If you're not from the state of Kentucky, I couldn't possibly expect you to understand the heat there is between UK and UofL. Virtually every Kentuckian has a preference over one or the other, and I happen to be one of the diehard Louisville fans who would sooner root on a school from Pakistan than be caught supporting UK in any athletic event. There may have been a time in the past when that wasn't quite true, but the never-ending ridicule I've had to endure (being from a small town chock full of people who blindly support UK just because everyone else does) has solidified my aversion to the big blue nation.

I guess I should also mention that 95% of my family loves UK, ironically enough. My mom even cheered there during her freshman year before transferring to WKU. I started out supporting Louisville because my dad is the rebel of the family who has always preferred UofL, but now I do believe I hold more reason than anyone else in the family for my choice of side in the rivalry.

So, to get back to the story, I went to the game with a large student group on charter buses (because it was in Lexington this year) and the first thing we encountered on our way to the stadium was a group of visibly drunk UK fraternity guys at a tailgating tent. They proceeded to BOO us the entire stretch of our little walk past them when we had not made one gesture or spoken one word to them to begin with.  I'm sorry if they thought that was funny or cute or whatnot, but to me that just exhibits an extreme lack of class. It's amusing how I've witnessed such acts of incivility from UK fans my entire life, yet I still manage to be baffled when the pattern continues on days like Saturday.

There is something about walking into a stadium on foreign turf, surrounded by people who see you as inferior to them and make no efforts to hide their disgust that makes you yearn so desperately to be able to walk back out with your head held high, KNOWING your team...your own school...has proven that assumption wrong. 

And so we did.

I wish more than anything I could bottle up the surge of emotions I felt every time we made a touchdown and celebrated amongst ourselves as proud students at the top of that stadium. The memory of walking down the ramp from the 2nd level of Commonwealth Stadium, surrounded by blue and red alike, screaming the Cards cheer and throwing up our Ls was so invigorating and fulfilling it even sends chills down my spine even now, 5 days later.

I really despise how the general public of Kentucky views the city of Louisville in such harsh lighting. The reaction you get when you tell people you live/go to school here is either someone offering to buy you pepper spray or mockingly bidding you luck in not getting jumped or shot on the way to buy groceries.  This idiotic, thickheaded assumption irritates me to no end because it is absolutely far from the reality of this place. Sure, there are criminals here as there are in any city, including my little old hometown. What people fail to consider is just how large Louisville is and that only a fraction of it is the "hood" where shady business goes down all hours of the day.  For crying out loud, 80% of the people I see when I make my Walmart trips are senior citizens; not drug dealers or criminals plotting to assault me.  I'd love to know how this beautifully diverse, culturally-stimulating, entertainment-packed city of ours earned such a negative reputation throughout our narrow-minded (SORRY but it's true) state. On any given day, I could go out and experience any sort of event I could dream up without having to leave this city! I mean, it really is a blessing just to be here, surrounded by that array of opportunities.  

Just last week, I attended a play - Dracula - put on by the Actors Theatre of Louisville and was overwhelmed with amazement by both the quality of the acting/production and the intimacy of the theatre itself. I can't even find a proper picture to show, but the stage is in the center of the room, not raised even, and the actors utilize basically all 360 degrees of the place--aisles, steps, etc.  I guess I'm just so used to mediocre plays put on by kids my age that to witness quality actors in a production with incredible acrobatics and effects was simply mind-boggling. I swear to you there was one point at which Dracula disappeared into thin air when they didn't even turn the lights off or use a trap door. Still trying to figure that one out....

AND TOMORROW I GET TO SEE MAT KEARNEY IN CONCERT! <3 RIGHT HERE IN THIS VERY CITY! I've never been able to attend a concert so close to home -- hehe yes I claim Louisville as my HOME now, and I hope I stay here for the rest of my life! I could not be more ecstatic. My sister, Camdyn, is going with me and I think it will be a great opportunity for some sisterly bonding. She hasn't seen my apartment yet, so I'm stoked for that as well.

As far as classes go, I'd like to address the fact that I now know from experience you can't trust the reviews you read on ratemyprofessor.com. The reviews for my Bio 240 professor had me almost terrified to even attempt to make a decent grade because of how negative and non-encouraging they were. People said things like the averages on exams are always Ds or Fs and that he purposely tries to fool you with trick questions...so not true so far. I made a 94% on the first exam and I didn't even have to kill myself studying. It's an entry-level class for mainly Bio/Chem majors and is supposedly designed to weed out slackers who think they're making it all the way to medical/dental school in a few years. OBVIOUSLY you can't be a complete dimwit who doesn't commit to the material and expect to make an A. Common sense.

Bottom line: DO NOT post negative reviews on that site if you yourself were not willing to put forth the effort to succeed in the class. You'll end up falsely terrifying those of us who actually enjoy the subject and are more than willing to exert ourselves to learn the material.

Sorry this has been so scattered; I just had a lot to say and it feels so great to put it into words. Hope all is well with each of you across the world. I love being able to see what country each reader is from!  Remember, I will still be including some jaw updates from now on and I'd love for you to keep up!

Happier than I've been in a LONG time,

Peyton

One Month & Two Days Post-Op

Absolutely nothing new happened at my appointment 2 days ago, which is why I haven't made a post this week. I have, however, started chewing again. :O At previous appointments, they have made a point of telling me to NOT chew yet, but at this one nothing was mentioned about my diet. I took that as my cue to just experiment with what I feel comfortable eating, which is probably not completely within the rules but...I'm a lover of food. VERY soft foods only though, so I'm not causing any harm. Macaroni & cheese, ravioli, powdered donuts, eggs/omelets, SOFT french fries, mashed potatoes, green beans, cheesecake, dumplins from Cracker Barrel (mmmmmm!), and even some soft breads. Nothing too extravagant, but it feels like I've climbed Mount Everest on my way to this point in recovery. For some of you who've been through or are going through recovery, it may seem a little early for me to experiment with actual foods already but I'm being slow and cautious with my chewing. Still feeling a bit guilty since I didn't technically ask for permission to do this, but my bite hasn't been affected and I'm still wearing elastics like I'm supposed to. It's not like I'm about to go bite into an apple or anything. Small steps.

First college football game as a student! :)

The final major step in this whole process will be the removal of my skeletal wires, which are the ones that are apparently going into my gums in 2 places, yet managing to not be painful. I don't understand it but I'm thankful they haven't really bothered me. They will be removed one week from today! After that, I'm free to go to the orthodontist and hopefully hear an estimate of how much longer I'll be in braces.

Another weird factoid I feel like I should mention is that I've been waking up randomly in the middle of the night (almost every single night), and I can feel myself trying to open and stretch my jaws while still in elastics and half-asleep. It's not comfortable to work against the tension of the elastics, so I have no idea why I do it. Just thought I should throw it out there in case someone else has done this too during recovery. I hope it stops soon. :/

That's all I have for now. I'm home now to enjoy Labor Day weekend with the fam. Here's a pic of me with my 2 full siblings, Ty (15) and Camdyn (12).

College Apartment Picture Blog

First...

Took this waiting outside the Humanities building for Spanish. I ♡ our campus!

Now for the official "blog tour" of my college apartment.

My room!

Fake flowers :)

Closet

"Me" poster from Aerobics last year :)

My bathroom!

Our living room/kitchen in the back

Can't wait to prepare some actual GOOD food (not Spaghettios! :P ) in here.

Definitely in need of some more artwork...lol

Laundry!

Choose to be happy.

Well I am officially completely moved into my new apartment for college AND I have survived the first 2 days on campus. As I sit here contemplating how I should reveal my state of mind in a simple blog post, I'm realizing there truly is not a properly fulfilling approach to summing up how I feel. Every possible phrase I try to spell out seems weak and insufficient but I'll do the best I can. And yes there are jaw updates later. :)


For as long as I can remember, "college" has been this tantalizing term ultimately implicating the initiation of adulthood: a keen & unwavering understanding of oneself as well as the confidence and assurance to make life-altering decisions without even blinking. Of course it's foolish to honestly believe you could be so intellectually/developmentally/emotionally refined fresh out of high school after being thrown into a completely new environment with a wide span of opportunities and potential adventures. It's like when you're a freshman in high school and you just know that once you're a senior, you'll be this completely different version of yourself with all the class, maturity, and swagger of an individual who knows where they're headed in life. Then you finally become a senior and what do you know: you're the same person with similar doubts, fears, worries, and desires...dying to be done with the slew of college and scholarship applications bombarding you from every direction. Wanting, yet again, to fast forward to "the good life."


I feel like this sort of nonsensical logic has influenced the expectations I've held for myself since I was a kindergartener marveling at the oh-so-smart 4th graders with their writing portfolios, mechanical pencils, and fine-print textbooks.
The cycle never ends it seems.


I even find myself NOW looking at the older college students who are completing their final couple of semesters, wishing I already had as much life experience under my belt as they do. They know the campus like the back of their hand. They have established connections and friendships with their professors. They have mapped out and fulfilled the requirements for their majors and minors. They must truly know what they're doing.


But I can't fool myself back into this pattern of thinking. Next it will be me as a junior in college studying for the MCAT, envying those who have already been accepted into medical school. Then as a medical student, yearning to be done with the 4 grueling years of nonstop work/growing debt and to already be working in a residency program. Then as a resident, killing myself to make it to the security of an established career in medicine. Then as a doctor, dying to retire. It will never end unless I have the sense to stop the cycle now and take each step as it comes.


And with that, I will close this little peek into the strange logic of my mind. On to more positive thoughts.


I love love love our apartment. It is perfectly spacious without being extraneously large or wasteful of space. Some may say it's preposterous to attend college without roughing it out in a dorm and community bathroom, but I genuinely think I would have developed a serious emotional disorder over time without having enough space to comfortably store my belongings and without my own bathroom to keep pristine and clean. The one time I have ever used a community bathroom was at our overnight freshman orientation this summer, and it was without a doubt one of the most uncomfortable experiences of my life. I think I almost have a clinical disorder where sharing that kind of space with strangers puts me under an unhealthy amount of duress. I do, however, have the utmost respect for those who do make it through such an experience and I'm sure such close living quarters make for excellent opportunities to establish lifelong connections to the people with whom you share space.


As for the pictures I promised, there is still quite a bit of decorating to complete before I feel comfortable sharing anything on here. I have several things hanging in my room already, but I only want the finished results to be published. :)


A very large plus of apartment life (especially on the first floor!): I literally had to take approximately 10 steps from our cars to the front door of the apartment when moving everything in. The transfer of my belongings was a staggeringly quick process.


On the flip side, a very interesting obstacle I faced on move-in day: the lock to my bedroom door did not work with the key they gave me OR the master key for all of the apartment bedrooms. So my first 30 minutes or so in the apartment were spent worrying myself to death while a maintenance man removed the entire doorknob to allow me in and then installed a new lock. All works well now, but it was not the best first impression, especially since I was already on a time crunch to get to our first Honors College Welcome Week activity. Luckily I have a loving, dedicated mother and an equally loving grandmother with a knack for interior decorating, so they both continued to piece my room/closet/bathroom together even when I was forced to depart early in the afternoon.


Does anyone else ever have those moments where you're so overwhelmed by the blessings of life that you nearly break into tears? It happens to me at the most random moments, and one of these was during our first little class session with our Honors 101 instructors. First of all, I was just so humbled by how understanding and sympathetic people were when they saw I was wired shut and could hardly talk. Secondly, both the instructor and the advisor of this course just seem like genuinely nice, down to earth individuals who will be easy to work with. And okay, maybe the minor case of sleep deprivation and starvation-level lack of nutrients in my diet made me over-emotional, but I was intensely thankful to be where I was, looking ahead at what was/is to come.


Okay no more sappy, ridiculously happy moments in the blog. I promise.


Every organized event I've attended at my university so far, from Accolade in the fall of my senior year (before I even knew where I would be going) to Orientation this past summer to this week's activities with the Honors College, has involved some of the best food. Yeah. That's not so much a good thing when everything you consume has to fit through a straw or a syringe & rubber tube. Today, in particular, I sat and watched everyone devour Papa John's pizza (Papa J sponsors like everyyyyyy event on campus it seems) as well as burgers and hotdogs fresh from the grill outside...while I drank Juicy Juice from a box. The day before that, it was catering from Moe's. I'm telling you, the world can be a cruel place for us recovering orthognathic surgery patients.


About the hunger...now that it has officially been 18 and a half days since I have consumed solid food, my hunger is no longer just that empty feeling in the stomach we're all accustomed to in this society of selfish, greedy gluttons. I feel the tingle of emptiness in every cell of my body--not something you could even begin to imagine unless you yourself have ever been on the brink of starvation. It's not even something I understood until about 2 weeks into the process. Every activity I attempt requires more strain and effort than I honestly ever anticipated at the beginning of this journey.


Add that into the mix of moving into a new apartment and walking around a college campus...what do you get?


Another pound lost...when I was almost sure the weight loss part of this agony had come to an end. I'm down to 114.2 pounds (and that was in the evening...I usually weigh in the morning when the human body is typically at its lightest point in fluctuation). What makes me sad about this is I remember just earlier this year being 10 pounds more than that and still perfectly happy with my self-image in my Aerobics class. I hate losing muscle mass and looking more rail-ish by the day. There are plenty of girls out there who strive for that stick-thin physique, but I personally prefer the toned, athletic body of someone in shape who still allows herself to eat.


Good thing I'm planning on feasting for weeks on end once I'm physically able to do so. I'm sure the energy, muscle mass, and consequentially the weight will be back in no time. This is where the blog title kind of comes into play. I could sit around and be indefinitely bitter about my inability to eat right now while I watch everyone else eat whatever they please without even fully appreciating their perfectly functional chompers. But I've come to the conclusion that it's better to picture myself gorging on these items in the coming weeks and not having to worry about burning off those calories. Surviving this experience requires my personal choice to make the best of a truly sucky, miserable, physically torturous time in my life. Wallowing in self-pity helps in no way. Granted, I've had my days and moments so far where I inevitably choose the negative route, but my sanity depends on me clinging to the path of optimism. And so I shall.


NOW FOR SOMETHING INTERESTING.
I'm listing 10 useful items that incoming college students may want to remember to pack that may not necessarily already be on their lists, whether they're living in a dorm or an apartment.
1. Power sticks for outlets: You never know how many actual wall sockets may be available to you individually, so these ensure a plentiful availability of power outlets for your lamps, televisions, DVD players, phone/iPod/laptop chargers, and other electronics.
2. Plenty of batteries: Pretty self-explanatory; you might be surprised by how many little odds and ends require batteries, especially when you've just purchased a load of nifty new items for your living quarters.
3. (For girls mainly) Lighter or matches for candles: I brought a very yummy-smelling vanilla cupcake candle for my room but nothing to light it with. Dumb mistake. Avoid it.
4. Lamp(s) and light bulbs: Every place has different situations with lighting, but our apartment bedrooms have no overhead lighting so I brought 3 lamps for my room. I think most dorms have overhead lighting, but if your roommate ever needs to sleep when you're still up studying, a smaller lamp would be a nice way to avoid conflict.
5. Laundry detergent/fabric softener: Again, every location has different policies, but you're going to have to do laundry at some point, so you might as well be stocked with the proper supplies. (Our apartment has a washer/dryer btw. :)
6. Tissues: This one especially applies to those in dorms who don't have a bathroom 5 feet from their bed. You never know when you'll need to blow your nose, as trivial as it may seem.
7. Hand sanitizer: Yet again, this one is important if you don't have your own bathroom. Better safe than sorry.
8. Air freshener: Never a bad thing just in case your building is musty or stale-smelling! Or just for bathrooms.
9. Clorox disinfecting wipes: This is starting to sound like a clean freak list, I know. But really, these are soooo handy for small spills/messes!
10. A planner or agenda for classes: Even if you didn't keep one in high school, I'd highly recommend trying one out for college since each day is different and due dates are harder to keep track of. The iPhone app I mentioned in the previous blog post functions as a planner as well, so check it out! -- iStudiez Pro


:)


The ironic part of this entire post is I've been typing it back in my own house because I have to leave somewhat early in the morning for my appointment with Dr. McKenna to get these stupid wires out of my mouth. Hopefully by this time tomorrow I'll be eating mushy foods again. Sigh.
This means I'll probably post again tomorrow except it will be much shorter and less weird.


Let's wrap this up, shall we?


Willing to kill for a bowl of mashed potatoes,
Peyton