Almost 72 Hours Post-Op: What I Remember...

Hello! Sorry I've neglected the blog for the past few days; I just haven't felt up to typing, or really even thinking, for any considerable length of time since the surgery.  If this post seems scatterbrained and incoherent, I apologize. My brain is still a little out of whack.

As far as what I remember from the day of surgery, there is not much to tell honestly.  I recall being in the holding room for what seemed like a lifetime before they actually wheeled me off. The annoying part of that was actually having IV fluids already being pumped into me but having no urinary catheter yet. I bet I got up and used the bathroom 15 times during that 2-3 hour slot of time. (Also - to everyone who read my earlier post about being worried about the catheter... I remember absolutely nothing about it. Totally was not worth the mental struggle I had over it in the days leading up to surgery.)  Everyone who came in to talk with me before the surgery was extremely kind and reassuring - especially the nurse anesthetists and the anesthesiologist.  And of course my oral surgeon (a.k.a. my biggest hero at the moment) made me feel like I literally could not have been in better hands.

Next came the first doses of actual anesthesia, and literally all I can remember from these after they were first pumped into my veins is laughter.  Mom has said the same thing to me regarding this, so I know I was not hallucinating. I was snickering on the bed as they rolled me off to the operating room - sounds insane, right?! I can hardly believe it myself now.

Naturally, the next 6-8ish hours of my life are completely a blur to me now.  Upon first awakening, I remember being SO COLD and shivering to a point of near hysteria, though I'm not sure how much of this memory is legit and how much was exaggerated by my unstable state, being awake from anesthesia only a few moments.  I just know it was miserable and I felt a lot of pressure in my mouth, unsurprisingly.

I can also remember being wheeled out past my mom in the waiting area on the way to my actual hospital room, and giving her a thumbs up perhaps? She'll have to reassure me on this one, but I believe I gave her some sort of nice gesture like that.  When we arrived in the room, I'm pretty sure it was exactly the time of The Bachelorette finale starting, so I naturally requested it on that channel only to fall asleep and miss pretty much all of it shortly thereafter.

The next 2 days in the hospital were pretty bland and miserable, so I'll avoid going on about that time.  Highlights: first trying chicken broth in my handy dandy little syringe with the rubber tube as well as trying apple juice for the first time. Both tasted so amazing at that time, but who can blame me? That's practically a four-course gourmet meal right there. Also checking my phone and seeing so many encouraging messages - that warmed my heart. Thirdly, having my mom take a picture of my side profile so I could see it was pretty incredible. Visible proof of the correct jaw alignment, albeit a very swollen/ugly version! Small steps.

And I guess I should mention that getting to see THE gorgeous resident multiple times throughout my stay in the hospital made it slightly more enjoyable as well.

Bad points in the hospital: seeing happy people with their open mouths on the TV, wishing I could talk and eat like them again.  I knew this sort of thing would happen right after surgery, but I was not quite prepared for how strongly it hit me as I was lying there in my misery.

I was able to finally come home yesterday and was thankfully able to sleep most of the hour and a half ride from Nashvegas - some of my life's most extreme moments have taken place in that city now that I think about it.  3/4 of my grandparents came to visit me at home and reassured me that I was "already looking so great" - which is really hard to take seriously at this point. I know I'm still swollen and gross-looking, but their kindness did help some.  ALSO!! Blaine (my 7-month-old brother) did not cry when he first saw me - haha! Not sure if he even recognizes me, but I had this horrible prediction in my mind where he would look at me and just burst into tears at the sight. No such thing has happened. :)

I want everyone to know I am doing a LOT better today - even mustered up the strength to finally watch The Bachelorette finale! It was so sweet and beautiful. I couldn't be happier for Ashley and JP.

My weight as of this morning was around 116.6 pounds, so I've lost around 6 pounds so far. Not so great, but maybe now that I'm more motivated to eat and drink, it will stay pretty stable from here on. For health reasons, I personally don't want to get below 115, knowing my body and what shape I'm comfortable with.

Here's my picture for today.

I know it's scary-looking, but there is still plenty of swelling that needs to go down. Thanks for reading!  The liquid Starbucks mocha frappuccinos that come in glass bottle things have been my lifesavers today!